Spring Changes

March 22, 2017

I feel like my life is under construction right now.

With a mobile second baby, an almost four year old, two online businesses, and all the demands of wife and mommy I feel like my string is being pulled the tightest its ever been. And that the tension is just at the verge of snapping.

Do any of you feel this way? Almost like, my pile of sh** couldn’t get any higher and…oh wait…yup, there’s another dump.

It makes me feel excited, on one hand. Because I love being able to watch my family grow, learn, and develop. Especially seeing the kids growing in to their own little selves. But, the other part of me feels like things are just so crazy and so chaotic that I can’t breathe. And while I’m watching my family flourish around me, I feel like I’m wilting.

I’m sharing this, because I think this is a common feeling for a lot of mommies. But we all like to put on that happy mask and fake it til we make it. The funny thing about that though, is when I hear or read that another mommy is struggling just as hard as I am, it makes me suddenly feel so normal. It makes me want to blurt out all the same thoughts running through my head. About how I feel like I’m in the best place ever and so blessed, but can’t hear my own thoughts anymore, can’t see my own reflection anymore [and almost don’t even recognize it].

There’s a few new things I’ve been doing lately to help me with all these crazy thoughts and emotions and I wanted to share them here in case any of you are looking for a little light in that crazy world of yours.

  1. Pressing Pause – I have, since New Year’s Day, been reading this devotional every morning, and it is amazing. It’s told from the perspective of two moms, and it’s a relief to hear and read how they go through the same battles, and the ways they’re overcoming them. The thing I love the most, is that at the end of each passage, they ask you a couple of questions, and give you a little space to write down your answers. So, I feel like it’s pulling me in more and really making me work through my own thoughts, instead of just reading a devotional and closing the book until the next day.
  2. Progessence Plus – for all the crazy, unbalanced, constantly changing, watch out where you step, women emotions. This oil is everything. I apply 2 drops to my wrist in the morning and the evening, and I kid you not, the world suddenly seems balanced.
  3. Hiring a baby sitter – Yes. I finally did it. After two kids and four years. I have a sweet girl, she’s in college, coming to play with the kids for two hours, twice a week, while I go in the office and work. Today was actually my first day with her. And sitting here, in the office, with dedicated time, to focus on my work to do list feels incredible. As a mom, we wear so many hats, and so even if you have the kids busy doing something, there’s always someone who needs more milk, or a diaper that needs to be changed, or a craft project that was supposed to last 30 minutes only lasted 5. So, that’s why I broke down and got some help. And I have a feeling these 4 hours a week of dedicated work time are going to have a huge impact for us.
  4. Gratitude journal – It’s so easy to get stuck in the muck of things that aren’t panning out the way we thought, or are taking a little more work than we expected. But, each day I try to sit and write a few things that I’m grateful for, and man, when I look back at those lists of gratitude, it’s easy for me to pull myself up from the mom puddle that I’m melting in to.

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