ok, where were we…I can’t believe it’s taken me so long to finish this! Just as a forewarning, this part of his birth story is a little fuzzy to me because of all the drugs, but I’m trying my best to remember it
At the end of Part 2 I was just being admitted to the maternity ward
So once they told me they were going to admit me things seemed to move pretty fast. The nurse asked me if I wanted an epidural and I told her YES, so she thought it’d be best not to wait at all for it and just to get it going. I didn’t argue.
I was still in the triage room when they came in to set my IV. Yuck. I can’t stand IV’s and to have one done in the middle of contractions definitely didn’t make it any funner. Luckily my nurse worked fast and effectively and it was done before I knew it. With the IV all set they wheeled me back to the maternity ward and in to my delivery room.
The room was HUGE, so much better than the triage room. I could tell my family was more excited to have cushy chairs and a little couch to lay on. And I was super excited to see the big comfy [who calls hospital beds comfy?] bed that was now my own. By the time we got settled in the room I think it was about 8:30 on Saturday morning. It wasn’t long after that that they came in and cleared everyone out so that I could have my epidural placed. At my hospital they don’t allow anyone to stay in the room while they administer the epidural.
I think this, besides actually giving birth, was the thing I was most worried about. I mean an injection and catheter in the back. Who would be jumping for joy about that? Certainly not me. The whole time the anesthesiologist was setting everything up the nurse kept talking to me about her own kids and trying to keep my mind calm and collected.
Before my epidural was administered the anesthesiologist [who was INCREDIBLE] explained everything that she was going to do. She let me know what I was going to expect to feel and what I shouldn’t feel. Her walking me through it all before hand actually calmed me down a little bit. She asked me if I was ready and I told her lets get it on.
I was glad to have the nurse [again I wish I could remember everyone’s names] there to lean on. As I scrunched over a pillow and leaned my head in to my nurse’s chest I was preparing myself to feel an excruciating poke in the spine. Instead I felt nothing. Seriously. The anesthesiologist told me that she was inserting the catheter and I sat there feeling no pain or poke at all. I think my IV hurt more than the epidural. Huge relief and one of those things that I feel like a dumby for getting all worked up over.
After my epidural was all set and I was cozy in bed, my family was allowed to come back in. I think when they all saw me they could tell how well the epidural was working because I was in such a good mood. I remember telling my dad that I don’t how or why anyone would not get the epidural, it just made everything so much better and I felt like now I could really try and enjoy my birthing experience.
Ok, so here is where things get VERY fuzzy for me because I started falling in and out of sleep a lot. I think the only thing that would really wake me up was if the nurses came in to check on me or if all the sudden I could hear people talking in my room. I remember I’d wake up and look at the clock shocked that another two hours had gone by and here I was still sitting in this bed.
At around 10:30 the doctor came in to check me and I was still sitting right at 4cm, no progression. She decided at that point that she was going to break my water, which I was totally fine with. And actually when she did it, I didn’t really even feel anything. My legs were so numb that I didn’t even feel the water on the pad. She said she’d give me a little more time and if there wasn’t any change she’d start me on Pitocin to get my contractions to go a little stronger and start working to get that baby out.
Once she left I was out like a light again.
I woke up a few hours later to the nurses saying that were going to check my progress, and of course, as in stubborn baby fashion there was NO progress. The nurse said she was going to start the Pitocin, which I was ready for.
After they added the Pitocin to my IV drip I remember starting to actually feel more of my contraction pain. It wasn’t as intense as before, but it was definitely uncomfortable. To keep me relaxed and calm Lucas and my family kept feeding me pack after pack of jello and popsicles [thank gawd the hospital let me eat these!! I think I would have died if I was restricted to water!]. I dosed off again and remember being woken up to an alarm going off and nurses swarming my room. Logan’s heart rate had started to drop and they needed to get it back up. The nurses were moving fast to get me to lay on my side to stabilize the little guy. Apparently this is something that can happen when they give you Pitocin. So to not stress out the baby they decided to now reduce the amount of Pitocin that was going in my drip. They also put me on oxygen, which I stayed on for the rest of the time I was in labor.
Once we were sure that Logan was ok, I was back off in la-la land. I was woke up again in the late afternoon [now at 3:30ish hours of labor] to be checked. I had only dilated to a 5. This is where I almost started to have doubts that I was going to be able to give birth vaginally. The nurses told me that I was still doing great and just to get some more rest. The more relaxed I could stay, the easier it would be for my body to dilate.
Passed out again.
When I woke back up everyone was starting to take shifts to go eat dinner. I was jealous. I could hear people talking about chicken fried steak and mashed potatoes. Do you know how annoying that is to talk about food in front of a pregnant lady who has been in labor forever and only given flavored frozen water? Not cool. To make me feel better I ate a popsicle dipped in jello. It kind of helped.
It was starting to finally get dark out, my second night in the hospital, and I still had no baby in my arms. The nurses and the doctor came back in to check me. Still at a 5. Blah. They decided again to up the Pitocin just a tad to see if a little boost would help.
Again, in mid sleep the dang alarm went off and the nurses came swarming in. Flipping me from side to side. With each flip I kept secretly talking to Logan, asking him to stabilize himself so I wouldn’t be taken in for an emergency c-section. Finally the alarm stopped. And I could breathe again. With that alarm the doctor had come in and decided to insert a heart rate monitor in to my cervix so that she could get and keep a true reading of Logan’s vitals. Thank goodness I was all number up, because I can’t imagine how uncomfortable having this monitor in my would have been.
Back to sleep I went. woke up, had jello, passed out. Woke up had a popsicle, passed out.
Somewhere around 3 am the doctor came back in to check me. I was now at 6 cm, she was happy for the progression, but not happy with how long it was taking me. Even though she said that women have the hardest time going from 4 to 7, she still wanted to see a little more progression. She looked at me and started telling me what I knew was eventually going to happen but I didn’t want to hear. She said that the next time she came in to check me, if there was no progress we would have to start talking about a c-section. Because I was getting close to the 24 hours mark of having my water broken and she didn’t really want me to go past 24 hours with no baby. It just wasn’t a safe scenario for him. I nodded at her, trying to hold back tears.
Of course I wanted to make sure that Logan and I were both healthy and safe, and I was prepared to do whatever was necessary to ensure that, but I desperately wanted to avoid a c-section if I could.
I said a little prayer and was back asleep.
I woke up around 5:30 feeling like I needed to go poop. I asked my mom to call the nurse to see what I should do. When she came in she was preparing a pad for me to use, and asked if I wanted to be checked first. Why not, was my reply. Only two hours ago the doctor had told me I was 6 so I knew I was probably going to be right at the same number.
She did her exam and said, “oh my gosh, you’re ready to have a baby!”
I almost didn’t believe her for a second. I mean how in two hours could I have dilated 4 cm? She started rushing around calling other nurses and asking them to go get the doctor. This was when I knew she was serious. And for a split second I remember thinking to myself to burn this moment in head because this was the moment where my life was getting ready to change. I was getting ready to really become a mom. Incredible.
After taking it all in I realized that Lucas was still asleep on the couch! I started yelling but not yelling his name to get him to wake up and told him we were getting ready to have a baby. He got up and came over to my bed and then things all the sudden started moving very quickly.
Our original plan [when we were in the early stages of pregnancy] was that it was just going to be the two of us together when the baby was being delivered. We wanted to have those first few moments when Logan was born just to ourselves to take in everything and cherish that first time of being a family of three. But as things started happening Lucas said he wanted both of our moms to be in the delivery room too, which I had no problem with. I was just shocked that he had changed his mind so abruptly, but was grateful that he was willing to allow them share in this incredible moment.
Before the doctor came in we did a few practice pushes with the nurse just so I could get the feel for it. I kept remembering all the deliveries I had watched on TLC’s A Baby Story and tried to keep all the things I’d seen in my mind while pushing. Chin down, push like you’re having a bowel movement, deep breath and push for ten, really pull the legs back…all of these things were running through my head in those first few pushes, and I still felt like I had no clue what I was doing. But, the nurse said that I was having some good pushes, but now she wanted me to wait for the doctor since Logan’s little head was right there.
When the doctor came over to the bed she had my mom and Lucas’ mom each hold one of my legs. Lucas was up at my head ready to give me moral support, and my mom was deemed as my counting coach.
With everyone in place it was time to push for real. As I started to push for the first time, my mom was so engulfed in watching what was happening that she was forgetting to count for me. I told my mom kind of sternly, “I need you to count mom!!”. I also got on her about her breathing, she was trying to do her breaths with mine and for some reason that was driving me nuts, and again I kind of lashed out at her. In hindsight I feel bad for acting that way, but you really have no control over your actions when you’re pushing out a baby. All you can focus on is what is and is not working and making sure everyone knows that.
My first few pushes were ok. The doctor kept telling me to pretend like I was going to the bathroom. And as much as I knew this was how to get in some good pushes, I was terrified to pretend that, because, like all women, I was afraid I would actually go to the bathroom! But then I told myself she’s a doctor, she sees this all the time, it’s no big deal, and I’m so ready to get this baby out. So with the, if I shit myself, I shit myself mantra, I was ready to go!
We waited for the next contraction and as I felt it coming she had me bear down and push for a count of ten, take a breath, push for ten, and if I could take another breath and push for ten again to do it. Since I’m always pushing myself to the max I went for the full three counts of ten.
It was with this push that she told me his head was starting to crown and I could hear the moms saying, “oh my gosh, his head is right there”. Then the doctor told me to reach down and feel his head, I was weary at first, but knew if I didn’t do it I would regret it. So I touched the little top of Logan’s slimy head and I became overwhelmed with emotion. It was that touch that gave me the strength to go through these remaining pushes.
Another contraction came on and again I pushed for three counts of ten, with a lot more progress. Logan’s head was now out!! Lucas was telling me how great I was doing and he kept saying, “he’s right there, he’s right there!”
My fourth contraction since starting to push was coming on and again I pushed for that three counts of ten cycle. The doctor quickly got suited up and told me that Logan would be here with another push or two.
So as the fifth contraction came around and I started my pushing sequence I immediately heard the doctor tell me to stop pushing [my mom kept counting, so cute]. I felt a few little tugs and then all the sudden there was a huge feeling of relief on my cervix. I looked at the doctor and there in her arms was this wriggly little baby. My heart melted!
She had Lucas come around to cut the cord and then immediately Logan was placed on my chest. The nurses swooped in quickly to clean him off and clear out his passageways. And all of a sudden, two little blue eyes looked up at me and my world had instantly gone from great to incredible. My almost 48 hours of labor [and 2nd degree tear] were so worth it, and I’d do it all again in a heart beat.
Logan Wayne Conner was born on April 7, 2013 at 6:11 am. He weighed 7lbs 9oz and was 20 1/2 inches long.