There’s definitely one big question that parents who are having a boy will get asked, that does not come up for parents getting ready to have a girl.
Will you be circumcising or not?
This has been a question Lucas and I have been tossing around for the last 3 months since finding out we’ve got a little man on the way. And I apologize if this is kind of a weird blog topic, but this is something that is a big question for us right now and I’d love to hear any comments or advice.
We had originally thought we’d be circumcising Logan, but after doing some research on it, we’ve started to question our decision.
Here’s the pros to circumcising:
-less chance of UTIs
-can reduce the risk of penal cancer and STDs
-easier to keep clean
-seen as more visually appealing
And the cons:
-risk of surgery
-can be very painful
-might reduce sexual sensation
With all this being laid out there’s still nothing in the pros that’s a 100% guarantee, so that’s why we’re starting to question our original choice. And in all fairness, the rates of circumcised babies is really starting to decrease over the years. More and more parents are deciding not to have the procedure done. In 1999 there were 63.5% of boys being circumcised that rate fell to 56.3% in 2008.
Our biggest thought is that if there’s no real proof as to why circumcising should be done, then why put the little man through the painful procedure.
Do you have a little boy? What are your thoughts on circumcision?
{ 35 comments… read them below or add one }
Circumcision isn’t “normal” in most places on earth so whatever decision you make will be fine. I see no need unless you are Jewish and it’s part of your religious beliefs.
Its always a screaming debate…we have one son…we had it done! 1 because he will match the rest of the males in the family! Second …friends son wasn’t done and at age 7 had to have it done because of constant infections, UTIs and pain. Much less traumatizing at 24-48 hours old than at 7!! We also know a grown man who had to have it done and was in the hospital on major pain meds for over a week. Konnor left the room sleeping, came back with a clean diaper and sleeping. He might have been gone for 20 minutes. I nursed him and he was content. He never showed any signs of discomfort or pain, no redness or anything following. Its everyone choice to or not too and you have to decide if its for you.
I agree with the above. I thought it was more of a religious thing, but in the end it’s really whatever you and Lucas want. I doubt anyone will judge you either way.
I have a 9 month old. To us this was never even a question, but that was something we both never even thought twice about and I don’t judge anyone for choosing not to because I completely understand the cons. Anyways my son had it done at 4 days old because they didn’t do them in the hospital I delivered at. He cried for maybe 5 minutes and then was fine. –Just something to think about. I come from a “tiny” town where everyone plays sports, so all the guys know who is or isn’t from being in the locker room. I know by the time they get that age it will be more common not to be circumcised, but when I was there the few guys who weren’t always got “ragged” on. Who’s to say the issue would ever even come up, but in my mind especially with how mean kids can be these days, I try to think of everything that might get them picked on.
I don’t have a son, but I can tell you that in our culture, (I’m an ethnic Macedonian and I’m also Christian) we don’t circumcise. That’s a HUGE NO-NO. It is a religious thing by us, as well. Where we come from, the only ones that circumcise their boys are the Muslims.
My husband is Macedonian and he has never had any issues with not being circumcised; in fact, he and his friends always wonder why here in the States it’s such a big deal to circumcise. My friends who have boys, and are Macedonian living in the States, did not circumcise their boys, either.
I have 2 boys & they’ve both been circumcised. If you have it done in the hospital, it’s done about 12 hours or so after they’re born and in the nursery (if you wait it’s a surgery in the OR and much more expensive). We had absolutely no problems with the procedure. Most pediatrician give the baby a penile block and a sip of sugar water to ease the pain. Afterward, I never noticed them being in pain. I’ve never regretted our decision, feel free to e-mail me if you have any other questions. Good luck with your decision!
Oh one more thing! The AAP (American Academy of Pediatrics) used to take a neutral stance of the subject, saying it was up to the parents discretion. In the past yer or so, they’re revised their stance, now saying that the benefits outweigh the risks of the procedure, but ultimately it is still up to the parents.
We have a 1-yr-old son and we chose not to circumcise. I know it is a raging debate, as are most topics regarding babies, I just couldn’t see putting my baby through something like that so soon after the huge event of being born, especially because it’s not medically necessary. Birth is a pretty huge ordeal for these little ones too, and when all was said and done I didn’t want to tack on another procedure, I just wanted to nurse and cuddle my baby. That said, lots of people do, and babies turn out fine. Oh, but I would argue that it’s really not any more difficult to keep clean. Ultimately, it’s your call, and I’m sure you’ll make the decision that is right for your baby.
Twin boys both circumcised…no problems and no regrets.
I wanted to chime in with the opinion of a circumcised man.
Based on the studies that have been done, I absolutely believe the benefits outweigh the risks. If you haven’t already, I think the CDC (Center for Disease Control) provides a great overview of the scientific studies and benefits of male circumcision: http://www.cdc.gov/hiv/malecircumcision/ . It’s definitely worth reading before making a decision. The evidence of the benefits is fairly conclusive.
I agree with the cons you listed and they need to be considered; however the procedure is not complicated, it’s quick, has a short healing time, and a low level of risk. Speaking from a man who was circumcised, I have no recollection of the pain and local anesthetics can be used to minimize this.
It does hurt to see your baby go through a painful moment, but it really is in his best long-term health interest.
Anyway, I totally understand it’s the parent’s decision and it’s about making a choice you’re comfortable with! Good luck with everything!
With a boy on the way, we’ve been discussing this one a lot also. My understanding is that there is no medically indicated reason to perform a circumcision and that the decision is essentially a cultural one. We’re also debating a slew of other newborn practices (like PKU and Hep B vaccinations) and trying to be as educated as possible but, in the end, we will likely go ahead and circumcise simply because that’s what men in our family do (my dad is Jewish and my husband is circumcised). I admit that it does feel a little strange that we don’t have a “better” reason but, if that is our final decision, I’d definitely like to do it early because babies heal so much faster.
Now what I am obsessing over is whether to do the Vit K injection required for the procedure or if we can wait a week until the baby’s K levels have risen and/or administer oral Vit K… have you looked into this?
Both my husband and two sons are not circumcised. In Canada, it is not really common to circumcise unless you’re Jewish. Anyone we know who has circumcised their son has done it purely to ‘match’ their father, rather than for health reasons. It’s easy enough to keep it clean, and I think it’s pretty rare for issues to arise later in life, unless it is not kept clean. Good luck, it’s certainly a hot topic!
OK so I am going to give you my opinion… My son is circumcised and it was a procedure that took all of a few minutes… I see men who aren’t circumcised and I think it’s the most disgusting penis ever..I will say I’m very shallow if I saw my boyfriend wasn’t circumcised I would break up with him…for some reason it’s so gross looking that I wouldn’t even touch it… So there’s MY honest opinion..I don’t think pushing back the fore skin while having sex would be intimate or sexy..blah..
I had my son circumcised. It was done in the hospital the day after he was born. He cried for 5 seconds and was over it. It took about a week to heal. I have a friend who had to get her son circumcised at 5 years of age due to a serious/chronic infection and HE REMEMBERS IT! He can recall how traumatic and painful it was. My advice is to circumcise.
We Had both of our sons circumcised, it was done the day after they were born. They did cry a little and i will worn you it is red,red after it is done and all you do is keep vaseline and a gause until it heals,a tleast thats what they did at the hospital I had them in. They will never remember it and you won’t ever have to worry about infections. Good luck in your decision.
We are having a boy and choosing to have it done. The reason being is that my husband is 1/2 jewish and he is done. My husband isn’t religious at all however we want our little guy to be the same as his dad and not wonder why his penis looks differently than daddies. As well i like all the pros of having it done and feel it’s cleaner. However it really is a personal decision. It’s whatever feels right for you guys:)
I decided to have it done to my boys (3 of them) and I wouldn’t have it any other way. We did discuss it and we felt that having it done was the best thing for our boys. Boys are not the cleanest things and we were worried about them not cleaning good enough and getting infections. And the whole teasing thing was a big factor! I think a lot of people that don’t get it done ( besides religious reasons) is because some insurances do not pay for it ($300). A few people I know didn’t have it done for that reason and now regret it.
I do not have any kiddos of my own yet, but I am a pediatric nurse and have had a lot of experience with both. Personally I would recommend getting it done, simply for all the reasons you mentioned! Boys aren’t always super clean/diligent with cleaning their manly parts which can lead to nasty infections (that in the end will cause much more pain and discomfort than having the procedure done!)!! Also, I’m sure you’ve done your research about the actual procedure, but generally, the same risks involved in ‘surgery’ such as sedation, anesthesia, respiratory distress etc., aren’t a factor with circumcision because the babies aren’t sedated. With newborns the doctors simply use a local lidocaine to number the area, then soothe the baby with a sugar-water treat on their pacifiers. Often they don’t even cry at all!! Hope this helps!
Hey Steph-
Putting my two cents in as the mom of five boys. Not a one of mine are circumcised and none have ever had any issues with it NOT being done. Two are grown and married, one with kids and none of them has ever had any problems in adulthood as far as I know. To me, no matter how quickly it can be done and no matter how little memory there may be of the procedure, I never saw any logical valid justifiable reason to put a baby through that. If one has a religious reason for it, ok, fine; I can respect that. But to do it simply because in MODERN (I emphasize that on purpose) American society, it is the norm isn’t, in my very humble opinion, reason enough. Not very long ago in our country, it wasn’t done at all unless one WAS Jewish. It mainly became the norm for aesthetic reasons as well as superstitious ones and ill informed medical beliefs. With an infant male, all you need to do as a parent is make sure you keep the foreskin area clean (easy… just gently push it back about once a day and teach him to do it as he gets older) and the risk of any infection is slim.
Again, this is just my opinion going on being a mom to more boys than I can count half the time lol
Really good topic, Steph, and lots of opinions on both sides. I am Jewish so in my culture it’s never a discussion. However, I live in New York and we have every possible culture and religion here. I’ve never heard a man say he had any recollection of being circumcised as a newborn so I, personally, would weigh the future benefits more heavily. But also consider this – as a locker room boy, teenager and future adult man, he may have issues and regrets if he’s not circumcised but I doubt any man has ever had any problems if he is. He will have to deal with women’s preferences in his life as well and it’s what most of them prefer. No judgements either way, of course. Just lots of good wishes for you and your family.
We have two boys. We chose not to circumcise for exactly the reasons you said–the pros aren’t a 100% guarantee, the rate is decreasing, and it seemed unnecessary to put them through a painful surgery. Also, on a more spiritual level, we figured that if God made little boys with a foreskin, who were we to say it shouldn’t be there and lob it off?
Dear Steph,
Your question leaped off the page directly to me!!! Here is how circucisions are performed. I notice that no one talks about it and I think everyone should know exactly what happens here.
I worked in the nursery at a local hospital and I witnessed first hand what happens during a circumcision, by many different doctors, and it brought me to tears.
First, they bring the baby into a isolated room. They must close the door as the screams from the baby are so terrifying. They use what I would call a “modified car seat” and strap the baby down. They strap the arms apart and slightly above the head so that the baby cannot flail its arms around during the cutting procedure. Then they strap the baby’s legs apart so that they are immovable, and so that they cannot kick and move around. At this point, the baby is already crying from being in this position.
Then the doctor places a metal device (which contains a circular razor) around the baby’s penis and pulls it through to the appropriate length. Using the circular razor blade, he makes a circular cut around the penis, thereby cutting off the desired amount of skin. The baby is screaming uncontrollably, and its body is beet red from the pain. Then the device is removed and an ointment is placed on the bleeding penis. The baby is still trembling and crying. I have NEVER seen anything so horrible in my life. It takes a while for the baby to calm down and only then is it brought back to its mother.
Steph, with all that I have said, I do want to also tell you that Jesus was also circumcised and the Bible teaches us that we are to do this. I gave birth to a girl and so I did not have to make the decision that you will have to. I will be thinking about you and praying for your decision.
Thank you so much for explaining the whole procedure to me. You’re right by saying no one talks about that!
My hubby and I had the say feelings that you did 2 years ago when it came time to make the decision. In the end we decided to take the little snip. The baby is so new to the world that they are not bothered by it at all. Just keep it clean and use lots of vaseline. My hubby had to change his diaper the first few days because I didn’t want to hurt him but after that it was easy peasy! Congrats on your little boy they are so much fun!
Thank you for the input!
That’s my husbands thoughts…why is it there if it’s “not” supposed to be.
I don’t have a son, but this was recently a big discussion amongst some of my co-workers, one of which was unsure what to do when her son was born. If I were having a son, I would do it. It is easier to keep clean. I would also want my son to be like my husband. What if he ever sees his dad and wonders why he is different. The same goes for peers. It may be that more people are deciding against it, but I wouldn’t want my child to feel different or get made fun of.
Also, my sister-in-law just had two boys in the last 2 years and both were circumcised. It took only a few minutes and although there was a little crying, it’s over so fast, it really wasn’t a big deal at all. My co-workers who have sons and have done it said the same, that it is so quick. I think the fact that doing it lowers the risk of UTIs and STDs outweigh the few minutes of pain that may occur. Just my .02
I have read the posted comments about the issues for boys… my son was circumcised and it seemed fine I saw him shortly after and he was ok… not make it sound like nothing at all for sure… but my husband and his brother both had to have it done older and weren’t even told what was going to be done… they thought they were going to have their tonsils out… ouch when they woke up… but another issue that rears it’s head for me as they say wives are more likely to develope cancer if there husbands have not been circumcised and I would hate to have that be an issue either… I know what ever you decide will be what you feel will be the best… but for my part I was never sorry I chose that for my sun… and his wife thinks uncircumcised men are very unattractive… soo for helen I guess we guessed right!!
Thanks Stephanie!
That’s my fear is the teasing from other kids
I am in Canada…the males on both sides of the family are all done…the reason why most baby boys are not circumsised anymore is finding a dr to do it. Most of our drs are NOT Canadian born and trained and it not being the “norm” in their country..not making them bad drs, mine is South African and I would.move with him if he left town. He is fantastic with us…. but when we had our son he refused to circumsize him. He gave me a lecture why it was wrong! First it is.our child ,our decision and our money. The Canadian born lady dr who did it said that 20years ago 90% of male bies were done automatically…unless it was religious beliefs. Now that people have to pay for it they dont do it. She said drs are all trained to do it but its their beliefs whether they do it or not. My sister had to drive her little guy two hours away to have it done because the drs there would not do it. Again it is our choice…make your decsision yourself. Dont let anyone tell you one is right or wrong.
I have 1 son, we had it done. Yes, he cried and it wasn’t pleasant. But he was 2 days old. There wasn’t pain afterwards. They give you a cream to put on there, and that was it. I think of it later in life, and what he will think. I know it isn’t “normal” in other cultures, but in America it is pretty “normal”. I didn’t want him to worry about it later in life. I think getting it done as an adult would be a million times worse!
Don’t do it.
Four intact boys and never looked back.
There is a reason that parents are rarely taken back with baby for the procedure. Common sense tells us that taking a slice of skin off the body causes pain. It is what it is. We can decide that the pain is worth it, or the numbing (if used) is totally effective all the time. But I think an honest appraisal of the reality is a good thing for a parent to squarely face. It is an elective surgical procedure on a newborn. FWIW, if we had ever had the procedure done, we would use a Jewish mohel on the eighth day (highest K production on that day). We are not Jewish, but some of our Christian friends have chosen this route.
Intact boys are not more filthy than circumcised boys. That’s just plain inaccurate, and it’s a culturally biased and slightly offensive assumption. Are intact girls more filthy than circumcised girls? The body functions extremely well in the way in which the LORD created it, and the intact boy and man maintain a very healthy and hygienic member precisely because He created the body to work with a foreskin. There is nothing unusual needed to keep an intact boy clean. A bath works wonders for all.
STDS and penile cancer– those are lifestyle issues. Chaste and then monogamous intact men do not have a higher rate of those things than circumcised men. And they don’t cause cervical cancer in their wives either. If my boys choose to abandon their morals and their God in their youth or at any other time, cancer is the least of their worries. It’s not something that would effect my decision as to what is best for them as a newborn. And no medical professional is trying to say that being circumcised will prevent STDs or cancer, that would be a radically wrong way to understand the literature.
I think it’s good that you are thinking about this. Eighteen years ago when my first son was born we were the only Americans (we lived in Germany at the time) who gave it a second thought. Seems like more people are moving away from the automatic circumcision mindset to actually researching and thinking it through. If they decide to do it after that, so be it. But being thoughtful about it is at least better than not.
I am an english reader without children so take my advice as you wish but i have learned a lot from your post. I did not realise this was ‘commonplace’ in america among non jewish people and frankly it shocked me. Why would people put a baby boy through something like that?? It seems a bit barbaric to me, for religious reasons i could understand but aesthetic reasons is a different thing. If boys are born with a foreskin, my gut tells me that it is supposed to be there. It actually protects the sensitive parts if anything… I would find a circumcised penis less attractive actually and as long as boys are taught to clean themselves well i dont see how circumcision makes that ‘easier’… just seems a lazy excuse for an aesthetic choice people have decided is the norm. I second what the previous commenter wrote, the parts about STDs and cancer is frankly the biggest misinformation, old wives tale or outright lie that i have ever heard. I am glad you are questioning this decision and not just going with what seems to be the norm over there. I hope more people will question this too and that things will change. We are so against female circumcision which is barbaric, why is this any different?
Thank you for your comments, this is exactly where my hubby and I are coming to a halt with our decision
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